Order - How much is enough?

I consider order to be a basic human need. We all need a different amount of it to thrive. I think of it as a spectrum ranging from people who are comfortable with very little orderliness to people who prefer orderliness down to the tiniest details.

Most of us, myself included, fall somewhere in between these two extremes.

It gets complex when we share our living and working spaces with people. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a home or business in which every person wants the same level of orderliness. Even when people are pretty darn close, they are not exactly the same. 

How much order do you need?

So what do we do? How do we live happily with people who have different needs than we do?

I like to start by getting an accurate understanding of just how much order each person needs to thrive in the space. The better we understand what level of order we need, the easier it is to ask for it.

You can answer these questions for yourself and ask friends and family too. Sometimes the answers are a surprise.

We all need some level of order to be able to function. One question is, how much order do you need to be able to cope with your life?

For example, take me, I can write emails just fine with a basket of clean laundry right next to me, but I struggle to write those emails if I’m a week behind on laundry and the dirty hamper is overflowing onto the floor right next to me. 

Alternatively, how much order do you need to thrive? We’ve probably all coped and worked with some level of clutter in our offices. Thriving is different. It’s those times when you’ve got things set up just how you like them and suddenly everything is easier. It feels as if the air is fresher and you’ve suddenly got more time or energy than usual. It happens at a different level of neatness for everyone. For  you, it might be a completely clutter free office, whereas your neighbor might just need a 12” square of open space on a desk.

Also think about when your space needs to be tidy. It’s quite common to be comfortable with clutter at some times and not others. This one is a surprise for most people. Figure out what is important to you, so you have a better chance of making it happen. It varies so much from person to person!

Now that you know what you need, how do you get it?

Once we understand how much order we need to thrive, it’s easier to meet that need, whether it’s through our own organizing or through requests to the people with whom we share space.

Through your own organizing:

1. Identify the items and spaces that are specifically yours. WIth these items and in these spaces, you have free rein. I highly recommend starting there and enjoying the freedom of it. Just-for-you spaces might be as small as the inside of a purse or backpack and they might be as big as a whole room or closet. 

2. If other people’s possessions have migrated into your spaces, return those items to their owners.

3. Tidy up all of your own possessions and arrange them in all of your own spaces. This may take some time, and it is well worth it when you are suffering and need more order in your life. (I usually use the KonMari Method® for this.) 

4. Check in with how you feel. Now that your own shelves in the closet are completely clutter free and the inside of your car is newly tidied, how do you feel? Has it provided some relief? Is it enough order for you, or are you still wishing for more?

Through requests:

When it’s time to talk to your family/ coworkers/ roommates/ friends, I recommend asking them for what you need, instead of telling them what they are doing wrong. 

Be the change you wish to see in your home or office. Without exception, when my clients have tidied their own things, the other people in their spaces have started doing some of their own reorganizing as well. Usually it happens even before they ask. You can lead the charge.

I’m here if you need me.